Superficial Fool

from Turkey Burgers and Other Delights by Sputnik Kaputnik

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lyrics

Every single time you’ve seen me I’ve been wearing a wig
I have many different-length, similar-looking wigs
With
Different ones, more long and flowing
To make it look like my hair is real and growing
I guess I could just say that I go to a barber
Every single week: is why my hair’s not longer
But
I have spent
So much damned loot
And I’ve hired an entire team of people, to boot
To keep my hair looking real and good
So natural,
So silky and smooth
Yeah, it’s understood
That ladies would

Run their hands through my hair
If they could
But I’m too embarrassed to tell what I do
I don’t want to look like a superficial fool
I like my hair
And my hot body
I like sitting by the fire with a hot toddy
I like reading a book
With a cat on my lap
I like taking a shower
After taking a crap
I like all these things and a million things more
I like Britany, Christina, and Mandy Moore

Yeah,
I went to Woodstock ‘99
And I tell you what:
I had a pretty good time
I like my life
And I like my hair

And I bow my head and say a little prayer
I say, “thank you God
For watching over me
And for giving me this sweet goatee
And peace!”

credits

from Turkey Burgers and Other Delights, released July 7, 2023

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Sputnik Kaputnik Lincoln, Nebraska

BORN FROM SPACE, HERE FOR COLD BEER. PROG MOD FOREVER.

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